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Feel ratty beyond belief right now: really cruddy front-brain headache, eyes stinging, that kind of thing. And this is just a cold; annoying as hell and it makes it hard to think. This may be brain-dumpy in the extreme.

But thinking I am, a bit, about what to do with grahambinns.com. It doesn’t serve its purpose anymore because I don’t know what its purpose is anymore. I thought, long ago, it’d be a blog about writing, but then I stopped doing so much of that. It started to be a blog about software development, but never really grew into that role because I don’t talk that much about it and the Open Source community by and large makes me want to scream with frustration (the subject of another rant. Not here, not now). Then I thought it would be a blog about photography but though I made some inroads there I didn’t make enough; lack of dedication to the cause there; something I need to change in 2010.

But here’s the thing. I want to make something of myself as a photographer (yes, yes, I’ve got past saying “I want to be a photographer” because I already am a photographer whether I thought so before or not. If I’m going to do that I want to be blogging about it all, the failures, the successes, the pitfalls, the ideas, the crazy, wild-eyed, midnight shoots in dodgy parts of London (probably not, but you never know). And that just doesn’t gel anymore with what this blog as been about for the last five years (well, five years on February 17th).

So, what to do? Start over with a new blog? Migrate the non-photography content away from here and over to somewhere else? Rethink things entirely?

It’s about identity. When people Google me, who do I want them to see? Do I want them to see me as a photographer or me as a hacker / hack / musicial hack / internet crusty? This blog is currently the top result on Google UK for my name, followed by some weird crap about finding my phone number and then something about a Maj. Gen. in the British army. And the Youtube clip from UDS Jaunty.

So keeping the site is a good idea. What to keep on it though? I think photography. I think that, when you go to grahambinns.com you should see me as a photographer, that side of me, not the developer side of me, because when I’m in public – unless I’m with the hacker crowd anyway – I’ll say, if I’m asked, that I’m a photographer. It just comes out; can’t stop it. I don’t always add the “but my day job is as a software developer” corollary any more, which is empowering in itself.

Maybe that’s what needs to happen; I need to separate those two identities so that they don’t bash into each other.

Something that Ariana Osborne said a while back rings true:

If you want to sell something online, you’ve got to make a network online. You’ve got to go places and talk to people, yes – but unless you are struck by lucky lightning, you’ve also got to give those people something they can link and remember and pass along to other people.  And, for most of us, that “business card” if you will, is our homepage.  In theory, that homepage should be something people can bookmark to remember us by – but if it’s a static page there’s a very good chance that people will forget why they bookmarked it in the first place.  So most of us – by accident or with some thought – have created a blog of some fashion.

Maybe I need to get something to help me sleep. Yes, that seems quite likely too.